He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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