Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
