i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
