I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
