You just made me feel so damn special
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
