alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can't turn off my feet"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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