Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
