My nipple is on Facebook.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
