did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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