His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
