Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
