I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
