The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
