i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
