yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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