I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
