Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
