my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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