im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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