I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
