i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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