i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize