I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
