she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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