New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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