Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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