how can u be prego again
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
