that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize