If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
