TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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