I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
