I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
