That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
