She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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