She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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