Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Can i not drive my cunt home
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
