he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
