he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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