check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
