your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
