Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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