i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize