just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
