After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
