Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
