she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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