ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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