I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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