..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
