Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
