oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
