I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
