First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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