just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize