Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
