i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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