Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
