Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize