you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Green mimosas i think yes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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