Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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